What pain do you want to sustain?

This is a inspiring article from Mark Manson at huffingtonpost
Everybody wants what feels good. Everyone wants to live a care-free, happy and easy life, to fall in love and have amazing sex and relationships, to look perfect and make money and be popular and well-respected and admired and a total baller to the point that people part like the Red Sea when you walk into the room.
Everybody wants that -- it's easy to want that.
If I ask you, "What do you want out of life?" and you say something like, "I want to be happy and have a great family and a job I like," it's so ubiquitous that it doesn't even mean anything.
Everyone wants that. So what's the point?
What's more interesting to me is what pain do you want? What are you willing to struggle for? Because that seems to be a greater determinant of how our lives end up.
Everybody wants to have an amazing job and financial independence -- but not everyone is willing to suffer through 60-hour work weeks, long commutes, obnoxious paperwork, to navigate arbitrary corporate hierarchies and the blasé confines of an infinite cubicle hell. People want to be rich without the risk, with the delayed gratification necessary to accumulate wealth.
Everybody wants to have great sex and an awesome relationship -- but not everyone is willing to go through the tough communication, the awkward silences, the hurt feelings and the emotional psychodrama to get there. And so they settle. They settle and wonder "What if?" for years and years and until the question morphs from "What if?" into "What for?" And when the lawyers go home and the alimony check is in the mail they say, "What was it all for?" If not for their lowered standards and expectations for themselves 20 years prior, then what for?
Because happiness requires struggle. You can only avoid pain for so long before it comes roaring back to life.
At the core of all human behavior, the good feelings we all want are more or less the same. Therefore what we get out of life is not determined by the good feelings we desire but by what bad feelings we're willing to sustain.
"Nothing good in life comes easy," we've been told that a hundred times before. The good things in life we accomplish are defined by where we enjoy the suffering, where we enjoy the struggle.
People want an amazing physique. But you don't end up with one unless you legitimately love the pain and physical stress that comes with living inside a gym for hour upon hour, unless you love calculating and calibrating the food you eat, planning your life out in tiny plate-sized portions.
People want to start their own business or become financially independent. But you don't end up a successful entrepreneur unless you find a way to love the risk, the uncertainty, the repeated failures, and working insane hours on something you have no idea whether will be successful or not. Some people are wired for that sort of pain, and those are the ones who succeed.
People want a boyfriend or girlfriend. But you don't end up attracting amazing people without loving the emotional turbulence that comes with weathering rejections, building the sexual tension that never gets released, and staring blankly at a phone that never rings. It's part of the game of love. You can't win if you don't play.
What determines your success is "What pain do you want to sustain?"
I wrote in an article last week that I've always loved the idea of being a surfer, yet I've never made consistent effort to surf regularly. Truth is: I don't enjoy the pain that comes with paddling until my arms go numb and having water shot up my nose repeatedly. It's not for me. The cost outweighs the benefit. And that's fine.
On the other hand, I am willing to live out of a suitcase for months on end, to stammer around in a foreign language for hours with people who speak no English to try and buy a cell phone, to get lost in new cities over and over and over again. Because that's the sort of pain and stress I enjoy sustaining. That's where my passion lies, not just in the pleasures, but in the stress and pain.
There's a lot of self development advice out there that says, "You've just got to want it enough!"
That's only partly true. Everybody wants something. And everybody wants something badly enough. They just aren't being honest with themselves about what they actually want that bad.
If you want the benefits of something in life, you have to also want the costs. If you want the six pack, you have to want the sweat, the soreness, the early mornings, and the hunger pangs. If you want the yacht, you have to also want the late nights, the risky business moves, and the possibility of pissing off a person or ten.
If you find yourself wanting something month after month, year after year, yet nothing happens and you never come any closer to it, then maybe what you actually want is a fantasy, an idealization, an image and a false promise. Maybe you don't actually want it at all.
So I ask you, "How are you willing to suffer?"
Because you have to choose something. You can't have a pain-free life. It can't all be roses and unicorns.
Choose how you are willing to suffer.
Because that's the hard question that matters. Pleasure is an easy question. And pretty much all of us have the same answer.
The more interesting question is the pain. What is the pain that you want to sustain?
Because that answer will actually get you somewhere. It's the question that can change your life. It's what makes me me and you you. It's what defines us and separates us and ultimately brings us together.
So what's it going to be?
I always anticipate a great environment for pupillage with great bunch of friends by meeting a great master that give me great work. *wake up please* Reality are so much different than my imagination. I couldn't stand the culture of transcribing that have not much advantage to the pupils in the firm. Everyone else seems like obedient to accept it.
I ponder. I think I should have accept it as my challenge in part of my training process. Everyone have to undergo this period as we are still a newbie. I think it is part and parcel of the pain that we are going to handle.



2.12 is a prosperous day for me! It's not only my first anniversary after I enshrined Gohonzon, it is also my first day of pupillage! I believe it's a gift from Gohonzon. :)

Muhammad Ali Jinnah once said:" I do not believe in taking the right decision, I take a decision and make it right." Similarly, instead of wishing and hoping to get a good master or gain the best knowledge, I want to create positive values and greatest memories in my 9 months of pupillage! Therefore, I have listed 9 resolutions in my pupillage.

1. Passion

I still remember vividly where I can't answer the interviewer's question in relation to my future. Although it is important to live at the present, I want to discover my passion and focus in a specific area that I love. Passion energizes me to get up each morning and help me to find direction in my life and career. 

2. Healthy 

This seems like a must-have list in each and every of my resolution. I believe nothing can be done without mentally and physically health. Equipped with best facilities in my condominium, I must hit the gym/swimming pool/badminton court/futsal/squash more often! Also, I wish to get my golf handicap. Most importantly, I must achieve my goal-weight of 52kg. I can do it!

3. Friends

I want to be surrounded and associated with like-minded and passionate friends that can inspire me to do better. Let's try the law of attractions yayy!

4. Attitude 

A positive attitude causes a chain of reaction of positive thoughts, events and outcomes. It is a catalyst and it sparks extraordinary results. Be humble and kind to people. I am thinking of sharing positive messages with random strangers. HAHAHHA. Always treat everyone as you would want them to treat you. Be confident and fearless.  

5. Opportunites

Challenges are opportunities. There is no adversity that I cannot transform based on the Buddhist principle of "changing poison into medicine." Challenges keep a fire in my belly and my passion high. I am not going to let myself stressed out. When I feel that rush of stress, I am going to sit back and put my hands behind my head and stretch out my legs. Be prepared to receive my "crazy notes" or "love letters" to distress lol 

6. Reading

This is one of my weakness that I am trying to overcome. I must read newspaper/e-news everyday.

7. Financial 

Make money in Riggit and spend in Ruppiah and I want for nothing. I truly understand pupillage can't really earn much money but I believe that the knowledge is my greatest treasure that I will gain. It is important to have my financial planning to ensure my monthly expenses are bare minimum. You guys can still date me for lunch/dinner because I have budget for it ;d Hopefully I can get myself a Swiss automatic watch after the 9 months!

8. Blog

A minimum of 9 posts per month. I want to polish my English and share my interesting pupillage experiences with you all :)))

9. Kosen rufu

I want to contribute to my life and share it with others. One of the best ways to share passion with friends, family and colleagues is through face-to-face dialogue. That is why I much value in gatherings and soka activities. I believe it will help me to discover and reaffirm my passsion, resulting in an incredibly amazing and productive months in my pupillage. 

I foresee the traffic congestion in my near future. It will my best opportunity to chant :) Chant a minimum 30 minutes for the luck, faith, wisdom and happiness for all.

Nam Myoho Renge Kyo.

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