Pregnant and Perfect

Pregnancy is a happy yet vulnerable journey.

Pregnancy is a gift of god! A gift often came unexpectedly and I had a mixed feeling (happy and nervous and I can't describe the felling) when I knew that I was pregnant early this year. The sole reason is because I was diagnosed with a fibroadenoma (breast lump) after I got married. So grateful that my husband noticed that after we got married ;p So I went an initial scanning followed by FNAC in hospital to find out the characteristics of the lump. I was so prepared to remove it no matter it is good or bad. Fortunately the lump was benign and I was all ready to get rid of the lump in the hospital. However, I found out that I was pregnant a day before the operation so the doctor did not remove it and had advised me to remove it after delivery.

I told myself that it's fine and everything will be okay by continuous chanting and praying. My only wish at the moment is that baby is absolutely healthy, happy, normal and smooth delivery.

But many things are changing during the pregnancy from inner self to outer environment, I think it is necessary to write it down to remind myself the beautiful pregnancy journey through continuous challenge.

1. Hormonal change

Firstly, I admit that my skin has became so much better and glowing after pregnancy. I used to have a lots of pimples but it is absolutely gone by now.

Secondly, I am glad that morning sickness doesn't really affect me in the first trimester save that I started mild morning sickness in my second trimester.

Thirdly, the doctor noticed that I had a fibroid in uterus when he did the detailed ultrasound scanning (why so many fibroids one, I ate too much fibre is it?) The reasons being that 1 out of 3 pregnant woman will get those and it will mostly cease to exist after delivery. Thankfully the position of fibroids doesn't affect the growth of the baby.

2. Environment change

Changing from a legal practice to a totally new working environment, moving from "staying alone" in city to "staying with my husband's big family" in suburban in just 2 months time, I have not adapt to the changes yet and it may take a longer time.

Firstly, the working environment in sub-urban differs from the city. People in sub-urban works very very hard (as in long working hours sticking on chairs) as opposed to working in city where people are creative and trying to find ways to do things differently and effectively. I look like alien when I was walking around the company and go back home on time. I wish I could change the working culture in the new company and not be part of them in the near future.

Secondly, while many people may asked me "why are you staying with your husband's family after married?" (with a shock and surprise expression). Well my husband is the eldest son and he has a strong sense of responsibility to accompany his parents. I respect his decision and that's actually not a bad idea to stay with in-laws. I am again grateful that my mother and father in law are treating me like their daughter. In addition, I am always stuffed with good food after work because I do not have to cook at all.

Thirdly, I am so grateful that my parent's house is just 2 minutes away from my husband's house so I can go back to my parent's house almost every day. Just for your info, I am the youngest in my house and my brother and sister are both in Singapore. I can feel my parent's loneliness so I would spend more time with them whenever I am free.

3. Spiritual change

The mood swing in pregnancy is real. It's always easy to talk than doing it in the real life. Although I pray and told myself to have a bigger heart to accept everything, my heart will still be moved and affected by outer environment.

One of the examples is staying with my husband's family. Sometimes I do not understand why is a married woman with family (staying nearby), which is my husband's twin sister, will stay in our house all day, everyday. I totally understand that a daughter who married have a right visit their parents as often as they wish but what if they are staying with you all the time? Is it normal? Can anyone tell me about this because I really don't understand. Then my mood swing is in action and I am trying very very hard to get rid about the bad feeling I had. I always try to welcome guests with open heart.

I hope I will be happy and free throughout pregnancy journey. Happiness will affect the baby directly and indirectly.  I now end my post today with a happiness quote by Daisaku Ikeda:-

A person with a vast heart is happy
Such a person lives each day with a broad and embracing spirit.

A person with a strong will is happy.
Such a person can confidently enjoy life, never defeated by suffering.

A person with a profound spirit is happy.
Such a person can savour life's depths while creating meaning and value that will last for eternity.

A person with a pure mind is happy
Such a person is always surrounded by refreshing breezes of joy.

See you soon in October, my dearest happy and healthy baby xx